run forrest run

something really strange happened today. i felt like running. if you know me at all, you know that i am lazy. working out is a form of punishment to me. i hate to work out. i only work out to be in shape. if i had an awesome metabolism or i was tall enough to look alright with a few extra pounds, i would never work out. ever. lately, i've been pushing myself to try to eat right or work our or both. part of it is my family, with the exception of my dad, my family is fixated on diet and fitness. lately, it seems like it's all we talk about. this diet. that diet. weight watchers. atkins. grapefruit juice. protein shakes. blah. when you're constantly surrounded by this, you're constantly aware of how out of shape you are. another part is work, it's the same way at my work. everyone's in shape and everyone is always talking about what they eat, how they eat, when they work out etc etc etc. i really have no choice but to be constantly thinking and talking about food and exercise. most of the time, i fake it. pretend to enjoy it. but really, there's so much else i'd rather talk about than eating right and exercising. how boring. but for some reason, it's all everyone around me wants to talk about. confession time: it makes me feel fat. at work, i'm the most out of shape. at home, i have a sister who is tiny and obsessed with fitness. i also have a mother, who feels the need to remind me i'm not skinny enough every 5 minutes. okay maybe every 10 minutes but i'm really not exaggerating here. really. so, i've pretty much been pushing myself to try to eat right(not always successful) and exercise. i love food, i love to cook and i love to eat, so eating healthy all the time is challenging for me. therefore, i try to make up for it by exercising. a while back, i had started p90x. i love p90x. if you want results p90x is your best friend. i stopped it after a few weeks though, when i started accutane because i was extremely tired and had extremely sore knees and lower back. i started exercising again last week but i didn't really want to go back to p90x yet. so i've been running. i'm not a runner. i hate to run. i probably have a 12 minute mile, not that i even want to find out. but running works. fast. so i've been pushing myself to run/walk 30 minutes 6 times a weeks on the treadmill. today, the weather was really nice so i decided to run outside. i went to a local high school track with a friend, but there was some sort of practice at the track so we couldn't run there. we left and went to another track and it was taken over by about 50 5-7 year old soccer kids. finally we decided to go to a park, but our timing was awful and it was already dark. the park we went to is covered with trees and has a creek running behind it. it's beautiful during the day, but at night it's like asking to be kidnapped and murdered to be out there. so we went home. normally, i'd be perfectly alright with wasting time instead of working out, actually i'd be secretly relieved but not today for some reason. i was annoyed. i had this weird aggression built up from not being able to run so i came home got on the treadmill and just ran. forrest gump style. those were the most intense 30 minutes of running ever. it burned but felt so satisfying to bust my ass. i'm actually looking forward to doing it again tomorrow. i can't really explain it. it just felt so good to feel my body burning and sweating. maybe i experienced my first runner's high because i definitely feel addicted and want more.